Yes, There are Stupid Questions

In every customer service related job there are certain questions that customers ask over and over and over again that drive you freakin batty. While the question must seem totally logical to the customer, as an expert in whatever field you are in, the same question is completely ridiculous.

When I waited tables at a restaurant that served pizza people would always ask "Like how big is a large, how many pieces of pizza does it have?" Now I could tell them the answer...but really is a piece of pizza a standard unit of measurement? I mean I could cut the pizza into as many slices as they want but the actual size of the pizza is the same. 2 big pieces, 8 medium pieces or 100 ittybitty pieces--still the same size of pizza. This question really makes no sense.

Same with my job now. I sell mulch, rocks, top soil, etc and I sell it by a scoop of a bobcat which is 1/2 a cubic yard. So I call out to the little loader guy and tell him how many cubic yards of mulch the client wants and we charge by that lovely standard unit of measurement. 1 Bobcat scoop = 1/2 cubic yard, 2 Bobcat scoops = 1 cubic yard, and so on. It isn't rocket science.

But people constantly want to know how much a pick-up load is. Is a pick-up a standard unit of measurement? No! Yet they expect me to hear that they have a Ford F150 and then to tell them exactly how much it will cost to fill it. Short bed, long bed, extended cab, unextended cab...trucks are all different, am I right? I don't measure mulch by truck size, I measure it by cubic yards. Standard. Units. Of. Measurement.

Now I don't expect them to know how much will fill it up either so we have the option that they can get loaded first then come pay, which I am always happy to offer. But more often than not, the lovely toothless creature in front of me will ask again, "But 'ow much'll it cost me to fill my blue pick-up out 'ere. The one 'ith the toolbox?"

...And yes I did have a woman ask me last week why I couldn't just put a scoop in the back of her Toyota Corolla...

Stupid.

Wow I'm Huge...and I Killed the Bread Monster

Wow, it has been way too long since my last post. Definitely time for some updates.

1. I killed the Bread Monster. Let's face it, we all knew it would happen and personally I am extremely impressed I kept it alive so long...and that I actually made bread from scratch...more than once, even.

2. I am getting huge! I mean, people ask me if I am having twins. Most of my body hasn't changed a bit but my stomach is huge. Huge-huge. I almost smacked the lady handing out the little registry guns at Target yesterday because she made me guess how far along she was. Now, to me she just looked a little chubby so I said 4 months. She was six. Mind you I am just about 5 months and don't just look chubby. I look like I could give birth this summer. Huge. Here are some pictures. Judge for yourself, but unless you are telling me I look fabulous or that I do not in fact look huge, keep your comments to yourself!

3. We spent Memorial Day weekend in Hilton Head. Honey's sister was nice enough to give us lots of old baby toys and goodies. Overall we had a relaxing and easy trip with a little sunburned skin but that was it. We did happen upon this lovely gentleman before actually leaving Fayetteville as we got gas.

Sure you have a restroom, but do I really have to bring my own toilet seat?

Fayetteville is full of characters...most of which cause Honey to carry a gun. And here are some more lovely photos from the trip.

It was VERY windy!

4. I am doing more writing. If you are the type that like to read blogs and articles about health and education you can check me out at:

www.brainhealthcolorado.com
www.e-merging.org/blog
www.ourcoloradonews.com/education/

As you may notice most of these are things I write on the sly for other people. So yes I am actually getting paid to write. I'd make more babysitting, or working at McDonalds, or doing just about anything else, but I am using my English degree at a paying job. And let's face it...no one expects that to happen!

So there you go, you are now all updated on my life. I will do my best to not let time get away from me. Plus I have several upcoming trips that I promise to write all about.

Not to mention more pictures of my ever growing belly!

Stick Figure Families and Chocolate Between my Legs

Pet peeves are funny. They really evolve with you as you get older. I am trying to remember what I might have listed as my pet peeves when I was in school...probably "people that talk behind your back," and "my brother poking me."

During each phase of life when you have new things you deal with each day you find new things that annoy you. Right now I am bothered by huge "In Memorandum" stickers on the back of car windows, along with the little stick people families that are plastered on every mini-van in a 100 mile radius.

Remembering the dead is great, but shouldn't the person remembering them be able to see the memorandum? Why is it that I, the car behind them, be stuck reading it when I didn't know the person? How about a nice little token hanging from your rear view mirror, where you can see it? It strikes me as a passive whining device for the driver..."poor me, I lost someone I cared about..."It seems much more about getting attention that remembering the dead.

And don't get me started on the stick figures. Who in their right mind decided that putting a mom with shopping bags, a dad with a golf club, 2 girls with tennis rackets, 3 babies, 2 dogs, and a cat on their car was a good idea?

Frankly, I don't care who is in your family, I just want you to get off your cell phone and drive like a normal person. And I believe you may need to rethink your birth control methods.

These decals annoy me beyond belief.

And I have so many questions--Do these people change them out as the kids grow? Or change hobbies? What about divorce? Talk about a sad day...not only do you have to change your Facebook status to single but you have to cut Dad out of the stick figure family on the mini-van. It just seems like over-sharing to me.

Does anyone else out there have a major pet peeve about themselves? I have one that I know I should change because every time I do this I drive myself nuts. I eat a lot of Fiber One bars--they are full of fiber and have peanut butter or chocolate chip goodness :) And often I eat them in the car between work and the gym or on road trips or really anytime. No matter how careful I try to be, I always end up with a chocolate chip on my lap...which ends up between my legs...

I end up with a brown streak between my legs and on my butt because the chocolate melts and gets all over whatever pants I am wearing. It drives me nuts, yet I can guarantee it will happen again...and again...

What are your pet peeves?

What Did She Say?

Living in the South, I have learned a few new phrases. Most of them I have learned at my job as I work with good Southern folk that have lived in Fayetteville many years and are from these parts in general. I have not included these into my vocabulary at all, but you never know when they might pop up in the future.

1. Wide Open..."We are wide open at work this week!"

In my mind this would mean, our schedule at work is wide open...so kinda slow. Really the only things I would usually describe as wide open would be space, busted lips, schedules, and someone's legs.

Well, it actually means the opposite. It means we are crazy busy. Honey explained it had something to do with a throttle and if it is wide open you are going really fast. Which makes sense because I have also heard it used in relationship to an energetic child, a festival, and someone's weekend.

2. Blow him up..."If he doesn't send a check I am going to blow him up!"

Again, my literal understanding of this word and the actual meaning are not at all the same. I would think my boss was about to kill someone with a bomb. I don't think I have ever said I would blow someone up...maybe kill, mutilate, strangle...but not blow up.

Real meaning here--Call a bunch. Blow up his phone. Though blowing someone up could also be done through email it seems. I thought maybe it had to do with being angry and chewing someone out, which seems to be how it is used most at work, but I am pretty sure you can "blow" anyone you want to talk to very badly "up".

3. Vegetable Sides..."Wha vegetable side you wan with yo chickn meal?"

No I haven't taken to eating much fried chicken, but I have often been in charge of picking up lunch for some of my coworkers while out running errands. My favorite options for vegetable sides have been at the Barbeque Hut where they have: Cole Slaw, Potato Salad, or Fries listed as their vegetable sides. He he he! Guess they haven't really looked at a food pyramid in a while.

Some other options around here are Collards, Pintos, or Corn. I guess barbeque joints just aren't much for steamed broccoli or salad...well unless you get potato salad.

Another lunch favorite!

Maybe you readers who live/have lived in the south could give me more direction on some of these phrases. They crack me up! What is your favorite phrase from the South?

2012--New Puppy, New Car, New Job? New Baby?

So I know I have been slacking on writing lately. I have several excuses. And not any of them involve, aliens, supernovas, or Kirk Cameron.

1. My parents came to visit us for a week. I showed my parents the sights of Fayetteville and surrounding areas. Mostly surrounding areas. Fayetteville takes about 1 afternoon.

We did a lot of shopping. My dad loves shopping for cars, furniture, shirts, antiques, and just about anything else. We walked through the 3 blocks of downtown Fayetteville and hit every open shop. Dad was bound and determined to find a new shirt, even if it meant going in stores that didn't cater to his age or race. Here were two of my favorite pictures:

Needless to say, I won't be shopping in downtown Fayetteville for clothing. I tried to get Dad into the lavender suit but sadly he declined.

We also did some furniture shopping. Can't you just see me in this bed!

Wowzar! We also hit up the Special Operations Museum which was very interesting. In front is a statue of Iron Mike. I am sure I should know the story behind who he is...but anyway here's the statue.

So Mom and Dad visiting is one reason I got very behind in posting.

2. Yes I do have a new job. I now work full time (at one place instead of bouncing around between a couple). I work as an office manager at a Construction Waste and Recycling Center. Mostly I sell landscaping materials that we recycle like mulch and stone for driveways, and stuff like that. 

It is very busy and I LOVE the people I work with. I really enjoy working in a small business that is family run. After all we get paid for lunch which involves us sitting around gossiping for about 30 minutes then talking a bit about work. And the company pays for someone to come wash and vacuum my car once a month.

And they are very strict in their Family comes first mindset which will really come in handy since...

3. 

I am pregnant! And I have been freaking exhausted! So when deciding whether to sleep or blog, I have chosen sleep every time. Luckily we have just past the 1st trimester and I am starting to hope that my energy will come back and bless me with motivation again. 

We are very excited and look forward to baby coming in late October. A baby shower is getting in the works for this summer in Denver which I am already looking forward to. I can't wait to see everyone again!

So I hope you forgive me laziness. I hope to get back on a better schedule. 

2012 has been a busy year so far, just to get busier!

Bet You Haven't Seen Dogs do This

My puppy, Lucy, has a very weird habit. I promise I did not teach her this, nor did anyone else in my family. I have only seen anything like it once while watching some kind of documentary on Africa...

She likes to eat the food between CJ's teeth. (Lucy is 5 months and CJ is 3 years).

Lucy's on top, CJ's teeth are bared to be licked...

And he seems to like it.

Obviously I understand the attraction, for her. There is food in there. For CJ, it is like going to a slobbery dentist.

Now I know there are some animals that live like this. Isn't there a bird that lives by cleaning a hippo's teeth? (I probably didn't watch that Africa documentary all that closely). But it grosses me out.

She could go to town on his mouth for like 15 minutes if I would let her. He lays on his back and she straddles him and nearly puts her mouth into his. Okay now this is sounding sexual...maybe that's the attraction for him?

Ok now even grosser...I'm done thinking about it.

Rant of the Week

Beware, most of this post is a rant and probably not politically correct...maybe I'm a bit hormonal but things have been BUGGING me over this last week. These are the top 3.

1. Zumba 

I admit, I have not been to a Zumba class but after I have sweated my ass off in Spinning I see the last few minutes and I just don't get it. There's some dancing and some shaking.

Now there are many work outs that are not for me, but I still appreciate them. Take Yoga--it is not my style but I see fit women leaving these classes, so it must work. I personally need something that involves more sweat, but that's just my gym hangup. Crossfit--looks daunting and I wish I was cool enough to do but really deep down don't think I am. But the women that come out of there are freaking tough and can probably bench press me.

Zumba class on the other hand, does not spill tough or fit or athletic women out when it ends. This may just be my gym, but 90% of the class is on the larger side and doesn't move nearly fast enough to keep up with the instructor, much less work up too much of a sweat. If no one coming out of the class has a body I would want, why would I take the class?

It may also piss me off that they allow about 50 participants, who take up all the parking in the minuscule parking lot, which in turn makes me late for my spin class...just maybe.

2. Gym Talkers

The other day a woman on a treadmill in front of me set the speed to a moderate walk and pulled out her cell phone. I am not sure if she'd never heard it was rude to talk while in the gym, or if she simply thought that because she was speaking a different language it was okay.

I just wanted to shout, "Just because I can't understand you, doesn't mean I can't hear you!" Maybe she had the same line of thinking that kids do--If I can't see you, you can't see me--kind of thing going. 

Not only was she talking, for at least the last 15 minutes of my workout, but she was also loud. I could here her over LMFAO shuffling in my ears. Rude (and maybe a little crazy)!

3. Stupid Questions/People

While out walking CJ, my very chill and well behaved dog, we started to approach a woman getting cleaning supplies out of the back of a car. She motioned for me to take out my headphones (more LMFAO) and when I did asked,

"Should I get back in my car?" 

I said, "Excuse me?" and when she repeated it I gathered she meant, was I going to let my huge, scary dog off leash to attack her on the spot.

He looks like a killer, right?

I smiled in a good natured way and explained that CJ was very friendly as we crossed to the other side of the street to avoid her. She then decided that he wasn't scary and started talking to him, causing him to pull toward her. When I reprimanded him she was all honey and said how she LOVED dogs and of course he could come see her and could she pet him and how sweet he was and what a nice coat he had and on and on.

So why the hell were you scared of him 3 minutes ago when we were walking along, minding our own business, ignoring you and I was jamming out happy as a clam? HUH?

Okay, Rant over. I feel a bit better. Funny how some things just bug the bajesus out of you and you can't wrap you mind around them and let them go until they have been shared. What bugged you this week?

The Bread Monster

For anyone who has known me long, or has tried to give me a plant, you know I am absolutely horrible at keeping things alive. It is truly amazing that I have 2 dogs that live and thrive. Possibly because they are very clear when they want food, water, a walk, etc. If plants could do a little whining or scratching at the sink, they would probably live longer in my household.

I am now proud to say I have kept something else alive for over 2 months--it is a bread monster. Now, if you are like me, you might not know that some breads need "starter." This starter is yeast but not the handy stuff that comes in a packet that is always in my cupboard but never used. This starter has to be fed.

Every 3-5 days.

My mother-in-law makes the most amazing Sourdough Bread and it is Honey's favorite so over the holidays she promised to give me the recipe. Overall it is pretty easy. But with it she gave me a little mason jar of 35 year old starter. Yes, 35 years old.

Someone has been feeding this bread monster for 35 years. You can imagine the pressure I felt that I keep this thing (that is older than me) alive.

Pressure.

But I can say, I have. Every few days I mix up it's food--potato flakes, sugar, water, and bread flour--and I feed the yeasty bubbly thing in my fridge.

Ok, once I went 7 days...but it still seems to live, I think, and it still makes good bread so I must be okay.

Who would have ever known!