Rant of the Week

Beware, most of this post is a rant and probably not politically correct...maybe I'm a bit hormonal but things have been BUGGING me over this last week. These are the top 3.

1. Zumba 

I admit, I have not been to a Zumba class but after I have sweated my ass off in Spinning I see the last few minutes and I just don't get it. There's some dancing and some shaking.

Now there are many work outs that are not for me, but I still appreciate them. Take Yoga--it is not my style but I see fit women leaving these classes, so it must work. I personally need something that involves more sweat, but that's just my gym hangup. Crossfit--looks daunting and I wish I was cool enough to do but really deep down don't think I am. But the women that come out of there are freaking tough and can probably bench press me.

Zumba class on the other hand, does not spill tough or fit or athletic women out when it ends. This may just be my gym, but 90% of the class is on the larger side and doesn't move nearly fast enough to keep up with the instructor, much less work up too much of a sweat. If no one coming out of the class has a body I would want, why would I take the class?

It may also piss me off that they allow about 50 participants, who take up all the parking in the minuscule parking lot, which in turn makes me late for my spin class...just maybe.

2. Gym Talkers

The other day a woman on a treadmill in front of me set the speed to a moderate walk and pulled out her cell phone. I am not sure if she'd never heard it was rude to talk while in the gym, or if she simply thought that because she was speaking a different language it was okay.

I just wanted to shout, "Just because I can't understand you, doesn't mean I can't hear you!" Maybe she had the same line of thinking that kids do--If I can't see you, you can't see me--kind of thing going. 

Not only was she talking, for at least the last 15 minutes of my workout, but she was also loud. I could here her over LMFAO shuffling in my ears. Rude (and maybe a little crazy)!

3. Stupid Questions/People

While out walking CJ, my very chill and well behaved dog, we started to approach a woman getting cleaning supplies out of the back of a car. She motioned for me to take out my headphones (more LMFAO) and when I did asked,

"Should I get back in my car?" 

I said, "Excuse me?" and when she repeated it I gathered she meant, was I going to let my huge, scary dog off leash to attack her on the spot.

He looks like a killer, right?

I smiled in a good natured way and explained that CJ was very friendly as we crossed to the other side of the street to avoid her. She then decided that he wasn't scary and started talking to him, causing him to pull toward her. When I reprimanded him she was all honey and said how she LOVED dogs and of course he could come see her and could she pet him and how sweet he was and what a nice coat he had and on and on.

So why the hell were you scared of him 3 minutes ago when we were walking along, minding our own business, ignoring you and I was jamming out happy as a clam? HUH?

Okay, Rant over. I feel a bit better. Funny how some things just bug the bajesus out of you and you can't wrap you mind around them and let them go until they have been shared. What bugged you this week?

Fuchia be Damned but Bring on the Strippers

Honey and I have yet to find a new car, so we plopped ourselves into his diesel-sipping truck for the 3 1/2 hour trek down to Hilton Head, SC this weekend. A friend of his watched the house and puppies so we had 3 whole days that didn't involve getting up at 6 am or cleaning up poop. Good times.

We truly had a wonderful time, but there was one thing that kinda bugged me. Hilton Head, for those who haven't been there, is a somewhat unique place--in that it won't let you be very unique. Many beach areas I've visited have a little bit of a live-and-let-live hippy vibe. A WINGS store with crappy souvenirs, a shop selling sarongs, bright happy colors bouncing off the glistening water of the ocean while children's laughter dances on the breeze.

Well in Hilton Head that is strictly not allowed...at least the bright happy colors. On their development website it reads:

"Soft shades of tan, green, rose, and dusky blue are among the only colors allowed because Hilton Head ordinances require everything to blend into the environment instead of looking over-developed. Few streetlights line the roads and no road signs are lit, so if you plan to drive around Hilton Head Island after dark, it would be in your best interests to familiarize yourself with the area beforehand so that you can find what you are looking for."


The Arby's sign, for example, is brown--not red. The Red Roof Inn can't have a red roof. Odd, huh? Everything is muted like the color has slowly drained out of the signs and buildings. Yet, they do have two strip clubs on the island. I am sure they only have non-neon, rose and tan signs to beckon in the hopeful gentleman in from the golf course.

Now I am a big proponent of vibrant joyful colors so the aesthetic kinda bummed me out. Not to mention, the lack of any lights on the signs makes getting gas, finding an ATM, or just driving your drunk husband home in the rain, WAY more difficult than it needs to be. And considering most of the residents of Hilton Head are older, I am amazed any of them can even venture out after dark. It is a death-trap I tell you!


Besides the color thing, Hilton Head really was nice. Everything looked very neat and tidy and the beach was gorgeous. It had tons of running trails, lots of beautiful trees, and fun bars. It rained most of our visit so we didn't do much on the beach but it was beautiful. I especially liked the Spanish Moss.

I look forward to visiting again during the summer when the sun is shining more and really makes the grey and tan buildings sparkle :)

We also checked out Charleston which is gorgeous. We didn't get to spend enough time there so I will definitely have to go back, but I was there long enough to learn they embrace colors. The even have a row of houses celebrating the rainbow.

Rainbow Row

That's my kind of town!

Tommy Boy Tried to Sell Us a Car

I wish I liked shopping more. More than one person recently, when told that I have spent part of the day car shopping, has gotten an excited glint in their eye. They would love to go car shopping. Not me. I mean I want a new car, but I would rather it just appear in my driveway all shiny with a bow like those Christmas Lexus commercials.

I think I am too analytical for shopping, so I have a hard time making a decision until I have absolutely every single tiny piece of information and have test driven every option. Which makes for lots of shopping. Which I hate.

I started out thinking I knew what I wanted. A Subaru Outback. It matched me--low maintenance, outdoorsy, and low frills. Until I drove one, then kinda wanted a little more frills and some more get-up-and-go. Maybe this says I am more maintenance than I like to own up to?

So the I actually had to drive a whole bunch of other cars and read Car and Driver and look and look and look. It is exhausting and I still don't have a shiny car with a bow.

At times like this I really wish my dad lived near us. He gets that magical glimmer in his eye when talking about car shopping. He adores it. He does it for FUN. When he is visiting a city with nothing to do for a day, instead of hitting a museum he goes to car dealerships. I am not kidding, ask him. He is like the dad from The Christmas Story who lights up when buying a Christmas Tree. All business, ready to haggle, getting the job done...pretty much opposite of my shopping persona.

(I have no idea why everything reminds me of Christmas right now)

Image from
http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0114694/

And somehow I have managed to get the least knowledgeable sales guys ever. They are always "new" which means even more trips to the manager to get information. One poor guy, we'll call him Tommy Boy because he is Chris Farley of the movie reincarnate, had been at his dealership for 3 weeks and regaled us with all the things he had done wrong in those 3 weeks (burned out a clutch trying to drive a stick, broke a key in the big key lock box so no one could get keys to the cars, fell down the stairs, walked into the glass door, etc) Of course he couldn't tell us the difference between where the oil goes verses the coolant but he was endearing.

He also was a tad overweight and told us that he kept getting in trouble by "the meanies" which were his managers because his shirt would come untucked. He was proud of his shirt because it was a great deal at $10 and had come with the tie too. This led Honey to gently but repeatedly tell him when his shirt was untucked in the back. But it was a losing battle.

After hours of learning zip about cars but getting a glimpse into what it would be like to be a young, overweight, inept salesman, he and his "meanie" let us go. We shook hands, turned away, and shook our heads--poor Tommy Boy had a button undone, the back of his shirt half-untucked and hadn't made a sale.

So the car shopping continues...