April 30, 2014

34 Year Olds Can Have Temper Tantrums Too! At Least I Have Rock of Ages and Wine

The last couple of weeks have been full of ups and downs.


Last week I had a full-on, three-year-old-style temper tantrum. I couldn't find my keys. Now typically I put them in the same place...always...to avoid self-induced trauma. But I obviously hadn't done that.

So, instead, I looked in my purse. Now I was pretty sure I could hear them in my purse--jangling to mock me---but couldn't find them.

Meanwhile, one dog was whining, the baby was whining, I hadn't slept because of a cough, I hadn't had nearly enough coffee, and I. Was. On. The. Edge.

So what happened next wasn't really that uncalled for.

I threw down the purse...no wait...I put the baby down...THEN

I threw down the purse, cussed a blue streak, watched all the miscellaneous items explode out of the purse, and sat on the ground in a huff.

Deep breath.

Bug was sweet enough to start handing me lozenges that had been strewn on the floor, and I grabbed a tampon before it made its way into his mouth. One dog cowered, one ate stale Triscuits.

The keys were sitting on the table in front of me. Good to know that Bug will be good at throwing tantrums. He comes by it honestly.

Now the Up:

Wine tastes fabulous in mini, three-inch high plastic cups. (Ignore the blurry picture and check out the cool cups!)

My friend and I scored tickets to Rock of Ages and the pre/post/intermission party thrown by an affiliate of my company. Two hot mommas on the town with no babies and free wine.

Good stuff.

Stuff a Saturday morning hangover is MADE of!

But we had a great time, got to meet the cast and during intermission when our wine hadn't been finished, the bartender was sweet enough to fill up a little three-inch high plastic cup (complete with lid and straw) so we could take it in to the show.

Because nothing says 80's like drinking wine out of a straw, right??

March 26, 2014

If Only I Was Jennifer Aniston in Cute Undies...

This morning I felt like I was in a movie...of course if I had been I would have been played by Jennifer Aniston and would have had on a very cute matching panties and bra set...Probably in purple lace.

But alas, I am not and was not.

I was all dressed, smart and sophisticated, for work (ha, you know me better than that--I had a dress from Target on) and was feeding Bug his blueberry yogurt. Something happened and I knocked my coffee cup causing a good deal to spill onto my dress and me to yell "Fuck!"

**Side note--a great advantage to having a developmentally delayed child who doesn't talk is that I can still cuss. He isn't getting mama out, so I am confident fuck isn't coming anytime soon.**

Anyway. As with all cuss words, Bug starts giggling. He must love the tone of voice. And as I look at him, I realize in my mopping up coffee, cussing, and dress dabbing mania I had forgotten him.

And his yogurt.

That he loves to eat by scooping it with one hand and trying to place that liquid onto his spoon to then attempt to get to his mouth. It is an art he hasn't yet quite mastered.

Now I admit, he doesn't look that bad here because like every good mother I started to clean him up before deciding I needed a picture of the chaos. Originally his entire right arm from fingers to elbow was magically covered in yogurt.

At this point I realize there is no salvaging the outfit and so I strip off the dress and spray it with stain stuff while pleading with Bug to use his spoon, not his fingers.

Like he can use a spoon...

Thus commencing what would have been my Jennifer Aniston scene.

Me in only my undies, standing in the kitchen, spoon feeding a purple-faced baby his yogurt.

Wishing I had some coffee.

February 15, 2014

Valentine's Day--The Good, the Bad, the Ugly

I think most women have a love/hate relationship with Valentine's Day. At least I do, so I generalize my feelings to most woman :)

One of my first real Valentine's Day celebrations involved a plastic swan vase with a couple of baby roses. It was from my first real boyfriend and I thought it was fabulous. I found out later his mom picked it out (we were in Junior High so that made sense, but I never really forgave him). After that, most of High School was disappointing year after disappointing year.

My worst Valentine's Day was in my early twenties. I had dressed up and prepared a nice dinner for my boyfriend. I had a special gift for him...don't really remember what it was but was probably football related.
A great idea from Pinterest.
"Open When" cards. Check out

He scarfed down dinner to leave and play ball with a friend. He had a couple of $2 boxes of chocolate from Walmart--one for me and one for his sister. His sister got the one that said something about love on it. Mine said "To a Special Friend." I remember this vividly...

We lived together. We'd been together for 5 years. 5 Y.E.A.R.S.

Needless to say, I realized then and there that we were not going to be together for much longer.

This Valentine's Day my husband and I are apart, but he flies in tomorrow and I know just seeing him will be the gift.

Though some cute baby roses in a fun animal shaped vase would go a long way. Just saying.

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