Wow I'm Huge...and I Killed the Bread Monster

Wow, it has been way too long since my last post. Definitely time for some updates.

1. I killed the Bread Monster. Let's face it, we all knew it would happen and personally I am extremely impressed I kept it alive so long...and that I actually made bread from scratch...more than once, even.

2. I am getting huge! I mean, people ask me if I am having twins. Most of my body hasn't changed a bit but my stomach is huge. Huge-huge. I almost smacked the lady handing out the little registry guns at Target yesterday because she made me guess how far along she was. Now, to me she just looked a little chubby so I said 4 months. She was six. Mind you I am just about 5 months and don't just look chubby. I look like I could give birth this summer. Huge. Here are some pictures. Judge for yourself, but unless you are telling me I look fabulous or that I do not in fact look huge, keep your comments to yourself!

3. We spent Memorial Day weekend in Hilton Head. Honey's sister was nice enough to give us lots of old baby toys and goodies. Overall we had a relaxing and easy trip with a little sunburned skin but that was it. We did happen upon this lovely gentleman before actually leaving Fayetteville as we got gas.

Sure you have a restroom, but do I really have to bring my own toilet seat?

Fayetteville is full of characters...most of which cause Honey to carry a gun. And here are some more lovely photos from the trip.

It was VERY windy!

4. I am doing more writing. If you are the type that like to read blogs and articles about health and education you can check me out at:

www.brainhealthcolorado.com
www.e-merging.org/blog
www.ourcoloradonews.com/education/

As you may notice most of these are things I write on the sly for other people. So yes I am actually getting paid to write. I'd make more babysitting, or working at McDonalds, or doing just about anything else, but I am using my English degree at a paying job. And let's face it...no one expects that to happen!

So there you go, you are now all updated on my life. I will do my best to not let time get away from me. Plus I have several upcoming trips that I promise to write all about.

Not to mention more pictures of my ever growing belly!

Stick Figure Families and Chocolate Between my Legs

Pet peeves are funny. They really evolve with you as you get older. I am trying to remember what I might have listed as my pet peeves when I was in school...probably "people that talk behind your back," and "my brother poking me."

During each phase of life when you have new things you deal with each day you find new things that annoy you. Right now I am bothered by huge "In Memorandum" stickers on the back of car windows, along with the little stick people families that are plastered on every mini-van in a 100 mile radius.

Remembering the dead is great, but shouldn't the person remembering them be able to see the memorandum? Why is it that I, the car behind them, be stuck reading it when I didn't know the person? How about a nice little token hanging from your rear view mirror, where you can see it? It strikes me as a passive whining device for the driver..."poor me, I lost someone I cared about..."It seems much more about getting attention that remembering the dead.

And don't get me started on the stick figures. Who in their right mind decided that putting a mom with shopping bags, a dad with a golf club, 2 girls with tennis rackets, 3 babies, 2 dogs, and a cat on their car was a good idea?

Frankly, I don't care who is in your family, I just want you to get off your cell phone and drive like a normal person. And I believe you may need to rethink your birth control methods.

These decals annoy me beyond belief.

And I have so many questions--Do these people change them out as the kids grow? Or change hobbies? What about divorce? Talk about a sad day...not only do you have to change your Facebook status to single but you have to cut Dad out of the stick figure family on the mini-van. It just seems like over-sharing to me.

Does anyone else out there have a major pet peeve about themselves? I have one that I know I should change because every time I do this I drive myself nuts. I eat a lot of Fiber One bars--they are full of fiber and have peanut butter or chocolate chip goodness :) And often I eat them in the car between work and the gym or on road trips or really anytime. No matter how careful I try to be, I always end up with a chocolate chip on my lap...which ends up between my legs...

I end up with a brown streak between my legs and on my butt because the chocolate melts and gets all over whatever pants I am wearing. It drives me nuts, yet I can guarantee it will happen again...and again...

What are your pet peeves?

What Did She Say?

Living in the South, I have learned a few new phrases. Most of them I have learned at my job as I work with good Southern folk that have lived in Fayetteville many years and are from these parts in general. I have not included these into my vocabulary at all, but you never know when they might pop up in the future.

1. Wide Open..."We are wide open at work this week!"

In my mind this would mean, our schedule at work is wide open...so kinda slow. Really the only things I would usually describe as wide open would be space, busted lips, schedules, and someone's legs.

Well, it actually means the opposite. It means we are crazy busy. Honey explained it had something to do with a throttle and if it is wide open you are going really fast. Which makes sense because I have also heard it used in relationship to an energetic child, a festival, and someone's weekend.

2. Blow him up..."If he doesn't send a check I am going to blow him up!"

Again, my literal understanding of this word and the actual meaning are not at all the same. I would think my boss was about to kill someone with a bomb. I don't think I have ever said I would blow someone up...maybe kill, mutilate, strangle...but not blow up.

Real meaning here--Call a bunch. Blow up his phone. Though blowing someone up could also be done through email it seems. I thought maybe it had to do with being angry and chewing someone out, which seems to be how it is used most at work, but I am pretty sure you can "blow" anyone you want to talk to very badly "up".

3. Vegetable Sides..."Wha vegetable side you wan with yo chickn meal?"

No I haven't taken to eating much fried chicken, but I have often been in charge of picking up lunch for some of my coworkers while out running errands. My favorite options for vegetable sides have been at the Barbeque Hut where they have: Cole Slaw, Potato Salad, or Fries listed as their vegetable sides. He he he! Guess they haven't really looked at a food pyramid in a while.

Some other options around here are Collards, Pintos, or Corn. I guess barbeque joints just aren't much for steamed broccoli or salad...well unless you get potato salad.

Another lunch favorite!

Maybe you readers who live/have lived in the south could give me more direction on some of these phrases. They crack me up! What is your favorite phrase from the South?